


Phosphene

by SincerelyChaos



Series: Verbose [1]
Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Breathplay, M/M, Moral Ambiguity, Physiology, Possessive Behavior, Sexual Content, ambiguous consent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-10
Updated: 2015-09-10
Packaged: 2018-04-20 03:08:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 500
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4771214
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SincerelyChaos/pseuds/SincerelyChaos
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This isn’t the ancient points of light in the desert night sky. <em>It isn’t even light</em> - it’s just neurons misfiring and his brain interpreting danger as beauty.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phosphene

**Author's Note:**

> _Verbosity is speech or writing which is deemed to use an excess of words._
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> This is part of a series of (odd little) ficlets, each ficlet written as an attempt to illustrate the rare or obscure word in its title.

 

This isn’t the ancient points of light in the desert night sky. _It isn’t even light_ \- it’s just neurons misfiring and his brain interpreting danger as beauty.

Instead of the stars in the night sky, John’s overshadowed by a man resembling a black hole; a man who’s not reflecting any light and who’s absorbing everything around him. John’s body is merged into this man’s; a man who is now effectively deciding whether John will breathe or not, in a much more literal sense than John would have ever imagined.

His visual system is creating light where there’s no actual light. If he could open his eyes he’d be surrounded by the darkness of his lover’s room, curtains drawn to shield them from the light pollution of the London skyline. Sherlock has surrounded them with darkness, making sure that the only light John is able to see is the light that originates from own his touch; a direct result of the hand that suppresses John’s trachea and deprives him of air.

It isn’t the Afghan skies John sees. Even if every coherent thought is evacuated in this moment, sense memory isn’t. The lights John experiences now might look like the night sky in the sharp, clear desert air where he once thought his blood would spill into the sand until there was no more. The pain had been peripheral - it was the vast emptiness and the sensation of life running out of his body that had persisted into his memories of that night.

This is another form of dissolution under a different night sky. This is a brilliant supernova that gives him false sensations of light as he drives into John’s body with forceful, slow movements. And John shouldn’t allow this, it’s too close to dying for someone who has almost died too many times, but then again; that might just be the purpose of it all. For Sherlock to override all of his previous sensations and fears.

The breathy sounds of his lover above him, the flashes of lights on his retina and then the obscene sounds that echoes around them as Sherlock finally surges into him, leaving his cells there to diffuse and invade John’s. Then the alleviation of pressure on his trachea as Sherlock’s mouth hovers above his own, letting his own air merge with John’s lack of breath. He fills John’s mouth with his breath before he finally allows John to take his own breaths again.

Blinking his eyes open, John’s vision is blurry from the prolonged asphyxiation and the saline rapidly filling his eyes. The first thing that emerges from the haze is the face of his lover, and the light sensations are replaced with a reflection of darkness and light merged into one; into the eyes of the man who still holds him hard enough to bruise.

This isn’t the clouded lights of the London night. _It isn’t even light -_ it’s just neurons misfiring and his brain interpreting Sherlock as a conductor of light sensations.

 

**Author's Note:**

> phosphene
> 
> (fɒs fin), noun, Physiology | Known as the phenomenon of "seeing stars" as a result from rubbing your eyes, phosphene is defined as a luminous image, which is fabricated by a mechanical stimulation of the retina, such as adding pressure to your eyeballs, e.g.: sneezing; laughing; blowing your nose; or experiencing low blood pressure (standing up too quickly). 
> 
> An ironic and beautiful word, phosphene is the state of seeing light without light penetrating the eye.


End file.
